| # | 标题 | 长度 |
|---|
| 1 | 911 Call: “Help I’ve Overdosed on Philosophy!” | 1:25 |
| 2 | Self Help Specialist Ends Own Life | 1:56 |
| 3 | I Am a Trans-Continental Railroad, Please Run a Train on Me | 1:11 |
| 4 | Stop Calling Us Screamo | 1:18 |
| 5 | You Don’t Understand the Liquor Is Calling the Shots Now Randy BoBandy | 1:05 |
| 6 | You Can’t Get Goose Justice in Fox Court, Just Spit on the Judge | 1:33 |
| 7 | Atrocities From a Story Book Perspective | 1:26 |
| 8 | An Introduction for People Who Hate Introductions | 1:03 |
| 9 | Jimmy Buffett Doesn’t Even Surf | 1:09 |
| 10 | Soap Opera Stardom Is a Single Is a Single Tear Drop Away | 1:22 |
| 11 | Pep Talk From a Nihilist | 1:29 |
| 12 | Fashion Statements of the Socially Aware | 1:41 |
| 13 | Absolutely Absolute Absolution | 1:43 |
